The Tyranny of "Minnesota Nice"; or, Talking Politics Post-Election

Just days before the election, I was entering my elderly mother's kitchen just as my older sister was leaving. "Here," said Mom, pointing a newspaper at my sis. "Read this about that Al Franken. He hates Jesus."
My sis, thankfully, remained silent - Mom's comment was directed more towards ME than her, but she took the offering.
Ah. Life as a liberal in a conservative family.
Outside of the immediate family, many of my CONSERVATIVE friends could not stomach voting for McCain, especially after his choice of Palin as his running mate. But those pre-election days, and even now post-election, can be tricky here in Minnesota. In the weeks before, I could hardly think of anything else but the race, with an election of this magnitude looming. It was the first thing I wanted to talk about with anyone; even chit chatting in line at the grocery store. It was like wanting to shout out to the heavens over what could be a phenominal Vikings win, but not knowing if those within earshot were equally dreading a Packers defeat.
The commandments of "Minnesota Nice", locked away somewhere in a sauna up north on a lake not far from a Lutheran church basement filled with the smell of lutefisk and meatballs, somehow ascertain that expressing an opinion that might even remotely vary from the opinion of another is a sin. "Keep your opinions to yourself" dictate countless subtexts, delineating every nuance of human behavior and conversation. So trying to have that political conversation, especially with a stranger, requires carefully feeling out what is under their hat before revealing a bit of what is under yours. Once a mutual opinion is ascertained; off come the hats and the celebratory conversation ensues. "Can you believe it?" you say, "Now we don't have to move to Canada!" "McCain's just NOT the same man he was even five years ago," sniffs your conversation partner. "He's really sold out." Even if the opinion ISN'T mutual, the conversation can flow wonderfully; with each party expressing what they think and why. And the excitement of this amazing scenario is tapped and flowing. Trickier is trying to have the conversation with a family member who, you are pretty certain, does not agree, but is not open about it. "You know what they think" says Mom. "Don't go there." "But I really DON'T know what they think" I exclaim. "I WANT to know what they think, and why they think it! Why can't we just talk?" The tyranny of Minnesota Nice.
Sometimes it takes one person to be bold enough to tip the hat first. Face-down in the chiropractor's office, it was easier to broach the subject. "How about this election, huh?" I offered, hoping for a glimmer of opinion from the doc. Whether Republican or Democrat, perhaps he'd be willing to have the discussion. "Yeah," he said, "I really hope we can finally get some health care that works." The door was open. The conversation began!
If you really didn't know who you were going to vote for, you had probably been living under a boulder for the last number of years. If you're not comfortable enough with your research and decisions to express or defend them to another; why hide it? I'd rather be openly disagreed with, and have a conversation that could be enlightening and non-threatening to BOTH of us, than get that sad, pathetic look like"oh, you just don't know what you're talking about".
Ah, "Minnesota nice". I'd like to add a little dose of "Minnesota-open-minded", and "Minnesota-let's talk-and-respect-each-others-ideas" to that. After all, is it really "nice" to withhold your true self, and all that you are excited about, to another? Or for them to expect you to?